Be Vulnerable

It's close to the end of the year, where many sit down in their quiet moments and make reflections upon the last 12 months. I'm no different. Over the last few days I've been in prayer and reflection over what has past me by this year. Time in 2018 has been fleeting; many happy moments, but also many challenging ones.

Lately, two words have played in my mind over and over; the words "Be Vulnerable". I realise that often I'm looked upon as someone who has everything going right, someone who had a wonderful and blessed life. I find myself putting on a mask, afraid to show the world my vulnerabilities, and that perhaps not everything is going perfectly beneath the surface.

I wish everything could be ideal all the time, but often it is not. I find myself being challenged by health issues, work problems, relationship matters and at times I feel really tired - both mentally and physically. Moments like these, I now know God is trying to remind me of who is in control, and who has the future in His hands. A video by Joel Osteen encouraged me to take off the mask, to commit my problems to He who is in control. I'm reminded of God's grace, and that He got this. As it is, I'm slowly learning to redirect my focus and trust Him with my burdens.

As I live my life I always try to see the big picture, to have things planned out in the long term. There are many small wins throughout 2018 and I'm really thankful for the people in my life who made them possible. As the year close out there are still a couple of things that I'm really excited about, but as I quieten my heart I feel that my focus should be channeled to things that really matter. There are many short term obstacles that I need to see through; they will not be easy, but I know with God I will get through them.

As always, nobody knows what the future holds, but I know mine will be alright in God's hands.

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. - Jeremiah 29:11 

2017 ----> 2018

Over the new year I was taught many things. I was reminded to be appreciative of the things around me, and most importantly to never take things for granted. In the past few weeks there were many things to be grateful about, but the thing that topped it all was time spent with my family. Simple things such as helping Dad out with gardening, chatting with mum, or disturbing the little sister, brought more joy than anything else in the year. As the year winded down in 2017, it was the blood relations that mattered more than anything.

New year, expanded role, new colleagues, more independence but at the same time being relied on more than ever. The pressure to perform is there, but then I am reminded of the phrase "to help others succeed before yourself, is the key step to success". Opportunities arise, and the chances to learn have never been greater. They say uncertainty is the measure of one stepping of his comfort zone, and never more have I felt more uncertain, vulnerable, than now.

But as I attended the wedding of a close secondary school friend, I am reminded of who is in control.

"In everything you do, put God first, and he will direct you and crown your efforts with success."
Proverbs 3:6 

Seeing the joyous couple give thanks to God first, touched my heart more than anything. A path built upon the Lord shall not waiver, and he who sets his heart on the Lord shall not be weary. Committing the year ahead to God, may it be as good or even better than 2017.